Dear Daisy Mae,
My mom is a sweetheart but she can drive me bonkers sometimes. Every year at this time it starts to get cold out and sooner or later snow falls and there’s ice and such. And she brings home a new set of booties that are theoretically for dogs. Maybe they are but they’re not for this dog. First of all, I’m a bulldog and I don’t prance about like poodles do. I shuffle, sort of, although I can run like the wind when I have to. Second they look goofy. Third, I hate them. Fourth, I’d be perfectly happy to walk through an entire winter in my bare feet. Please note, that I don’t mind wearing a dog sweater of which Mom knits a plentiful supply. Any ideas?
Martin van Buren, the English Bulldog
St Albans, Vermont
Dear Martin van Buren,
I live in Miami where it rarely gets cold and, as far as I know, never snows. I have, however, heard about winter from the snowbird dogs who come down here every winter and I do not like the sound of it. But I know what you mean about awkward wardrobe embellishments. My advice is to lie down and stay down, looking wistfully at your poor booted feet (in Miami, we call them paws, by the way; perhaps it’s different up north). Take some advice from your lookalike, Sir Winston Churchill, and “Never Surrender.)
Incidentally, I find English bulldogs very attractive. Do you ever come to Florida?