Hector’s Lament

Question:
Dear Daisy Mae,

I am an 8 month old Siamese cat who is rather finicky – which means I like things a certain way, my way. Both of my Pops think I’m complaining when I’m trying to tell them how to put out my food, serve treats, handle the litter box and select toys. I’m sending you a video in the hope that someone can translate my meows for my Pops. Thanks in advance.

Hector, the Siamese cat
Hollywood, FL

Question:
Dear Hector,

Thanks for writing. A finicky cat? Who’d a thunk it?

I’m getting more fluent in cat thanks to the one we inexplicably allow to live in our home, but her accent is “New Yawk” while you sound like Yul Brynner in The King & I.

The cat at home and I listened to your yakkee-doodle caterwauling several times. You sure have a lot to say and we think you might want to speak a little more slowly and pause every now and then.

As near as we can figure, you want a) a shot at all the birds in your back yard b) something done about another cat wandering around your neighborhood and saying bad things about you c) more scritches, especially behind your ears d) the issues you mentioned in your letter – better food selection with choices laid out like a smorgasbord, humans should wear disposable gloves when dishing out treats and litter boxes should be cleaned immediately (all the usual Siamese “royal cat” stuff) and e) apparently, you’ll let them know when you want to visit the vet.

Hope this helps,
Daisy Mae

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