Dear Daisy Mae,
My human keeps dressing me up. I look like a total moron and all the humans coo like pigeons and get that goofy look in their eyes when they see me. Is there anything I can do to put an end to this ultra-embarrassing outrage?
Sal, the really small but actually quite tough shih tzu.
This one’s easy. I know exactly what to do and it works, guaranteed. Do not take this lying down! First, growl and snarl, in a mild way, when your human walks toward you carrying anything wearable that looks like it might fit a really small but actually quite tough shih tzu, such as yourself. If your owner insists, lie down, whimper and cover your face with your paws. (A tried and true trick that’s usually irresistible.) If that fails, get ahold of whatever she tries to make you wear and shred it violently, growling ferociously. Repeat as necessary.